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rmikke: 8-year-old: The tooth fairy left me 50 cents. Me: That's awesome. 8: Last time she left me 75 cents. Me: The tooth market is tough. #xplodingunicorn |
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2018/08/01 08:59:19 przez www, 3 ♥
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rmikke: Me: Time to get dressed. 8-year-old: Not according to my watch. Me: You're not wearing a watch. 8: It's not time to put it on. #xplodingunicorn |
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2018/07/30 00:07:21 przez www, 0 ♥
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rmikke: [riding a carousel] 6-year-old: My horse is the fastest. Me: They're all the same speed. 6: That's loser talk. #xplodingunicorn |
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2018/07/26 15:51:17 przez www, 1 ♥
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rmikke: New rules I had to make for my kids tonight: Don't lick doorknobs. Eat one cheeto at a time, not 16. No fart fights #xplodingunicorn |
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2018/07/25 09:48:32 przez www, 0 ♥
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rmikke: My brother: You can be a godparent for my kid under one condition. Me: Name it. My brother: No Godfather jokes. Me: You made me an offer I can't refuse. #xplodingunicorn |
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2018/07/22 16:14:52 przez www, 2 ♥
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rmikke: My kids were fighting over whether an imaginary cake was strawberry or chocolate. I told them to just make two imaginary cakes. They said they didn't have enough ingredients. #xplodingunicorn |
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2018/07/12 18:34:36 przez www, 1 ♥
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rmikke: #kwik 5-year-old: What day is it? Me: Saturday. 5: I don't do anything on Saturdays. Me: Just kidding. It's Tuesday. 5: I don't do anything on Tuesdays. #xplodingunicorn |
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2018/04/15 17:55:21 przez www, 0 ♥
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