rmikke:
   7-year-old: I'm so cold. Me: Maybe you should stop eating ice cream. 7: *wraps up in a blanket* No. #xplodingunicorn
2019/07/18 08:41:02 przez www, 2
rmikke:
   3-year-old: *holds the remote for 2.5 seconds* Me: *spends hours trying to get Netflix to not be in French* #xplodingunicorn
2019/07/18 08:40:15 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   7-year-old: *plugs in tablet* Me: It's already at 100 percent. 7: I want it at 200. She'll make a great #coach. #xplodingunicorn
2019/07/11 13:17:06 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   3-year-old: Watch this. Me: Okay. 3: Are you watching? Me: Uh huh. 3: No, you're not. Me: *looks up* PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS #xplodingunicorn
2019/07/10 15:51:11 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   7-year-old: I'm going to be good today. Me: You should be good every day. 7: Don't push it. #xplodingunicorn
2019/07/10 15:49:03 przez www, 3
rmikke:
   9-year-old: Dad! Dad! Dad! Me: This better be an emergency. 9: Sloths only poop once a week. It was an emergency. #xplodingunicorn
2019/07/10 15:44:18 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   7-year-old: Can we ride bikes today? Me: If you're good. 7: So that's a "no." #xplodingunicorn
2019/07/10 15:37:13 przez www, 2
rmikke:
   4-year-old: Dad? Me: What? 4: Have you heard of the Great Devourer? Me: Is that from a cartoon, or are you in a cult? #xplodingunicorn
2019/07/10 15:31:53 przez www, 2
rmikke:
   O, podobno #xplodingunicorn wyszedł po polsku [twitter.com] (ale nie sprawdziłem, bo nie mam tu ćwitra)
2019/05/27 18:42:49 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   Me: How was school? 9-year-old *shrug* Me: You can do better than that. 9: *more expressive shrug* #xplodingunicorn
2019/05/21 12:42:24 przez www, 2
rmikke:
   6-year-old: What if I'm a spider? Me: You only have two arms and two legs. 6: What if I'm half of a spider? #xplodingunicorn
2019/05/21 12:32:54 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   4-year-old: I know the whole alphabet. Me: Can you say it for me? 4: Learn it yourself. #xplodingunicorn
2019/05/10 08:47:05 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   Me: I found a new recipe I want to test out. Wife: On humans? Apparently I'll be eating alone. #xplodingunicorn
2019/05/06 14:10:12 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   4-year-old: You got a letter! Me: It's just from the power company. 4: What do they want? Me: Money. 4: Can I send you a letter, too? #xplodingunicorn
2019/05/06 14:09:13 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   4-year-old: We don't have enough ducks. Me: How many should we have? 4: Enough. I'm out of my depth here. #xplodingunicorn
2019/05/06 14:08:20 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   [feather on the ground] 4-year-old: It's a pterodactyl feather! Me: Pterodactyls don't have feathers. 4: I know. They fell off. #xplodingunicorn
2019/04/14 16:46:26 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   4-year-old: I can't kick my own head. Me: Do you need to for some reason? 4: *shrugs* You never know. #xplodingunicorn (młodzież chyba ćwiczy #facepalmnogą)
2019/04/12 09:50:07 przez www, 4
rmikke:
   Wife: *returns from business trip* How did things go at home? Me: I didn't burn down the house. Wife: Did anybody else? Me: This time, no. #xplodingunicorn
2019/04/01 21:23:36 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   4-year-old: *picks up a rock on the playground* This brings back so many memories. Me: You're four. 4: Old, old memories. #xplodingunicorn
2019/03/28 13:21:51 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   4-year-old: Can we get a t-rex? Me: No. What would you feed it? 4: Bad guys. Me: *carefully reconsiders* #xplodingunicorn
2019/03/08 17:48:51 przez www, 1
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