rmikke:
   [decorating the tree] 7-year-old: Which ornaments can I put up? Me: The ones that aren't breakable. 7: They're all breakable if you try hard enough. I'm both inspired and terrified. #xplodingunicorn
2019/12/02 11:18:57 przez www, 4
rmikke:
   4-year-old: I'm not hungry for dinner. Me: It's not time for dinner. 4: When it is time, I won't be hungry. Me: Fine. 4: Unless it's hot dogs #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/22 12:09:00 przez www, 2
rmikke:
   4-year-old: I can't find my shoes. Me: Where did you look? 4: Nowhere. We're off to a good start. #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/22 12:06:15 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   5-year-old: The house looks weird. Me: Do you mean clean? 5: Yeah. What happened? #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/22 12:04:56 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   4-year-old: Hairspray is for hair. Me: Yeah. 4: Not for eating. Me: ...have you been eating hairspray? 4: *changes the subject* #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/18 15:11:11 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   Me: Get up. 7-year-old: Why? Me: It's Monday. 7: Check again. #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/18 15:04:00 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   Me: I can't wait to go trick-or-treating. Wife: You can't eat all the kids' candy. Me: Why not? Wife: Half goes to me. #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/18 15:01:03 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   7-year-old: Can we go home yet? Me: I'm tired of listening to you whine. 7: I'm not tired of whining. #xplodingunicorn
2019/10/21 20:53:51 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   5-year-old: Can I wear my Halloween costume? Me: No. 5: Why not? Me: It's not Halloween. 5: That's what you said yesterday. #xplodingunicorn
2019/10/15 21:38:13 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   3-year-old: It was a good day. Me: Why? 3: I didn't get caught. #xplodingunicorn
2019/10/12 21:45:07 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   Me: Pick up your toys. 5-year-old: The floor is lava. Me: Pick them up anyway. 5: Just let them melt. #xplodingunicorn
2019/10/11 00:09:41 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   9-year-old: I can predict the future. Me: What am I going to do next? 9: Tweet about this. She's the real deal. #xplodingunicorn
2019/10/08 09:12:39 przez www, 4
rmikke:
   Wife: Can you help me lift this? Me: You need a big, strong man? Wife: No, I asked for you. #xplodingunicorn #zrssów
2019/10/04 13:28:53 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   3-year-old: Is tomorrow Christmas? Me: No. 3: Is it Halloween? Me: No. 3: What is it? Me: Thursday. 3: That's the worst #xplodingunicorn #zrssów
2019/10/03 09:39:23 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   7-year-old: Can we carve pumpkins? Me: It's too early. They'll shrivel up and die. 7: Most things do when you stab them. #xplodingunicorn
2019/10/02 10:05:52 przez www, 3
rmikke:
   [middle of church] 5-year-old: I have to go potty. Me: Why didn't you go before church? 5: I wasn't bored then #xplodingunicorn
2019/10/01 11:15:51 przez www, 4
rmikke:
   5-year-old: I smell green. Me: What does green smell like? 5: Yellow and blue mixed together. Touché. #xplodingunicorn
2019/09/26 11:01:31 przez www, 3
rmikke:
   5-year-old: Are sharks real? Me: Yes. You saw them at the zoo. 5: Those could be robots. Me: *watches out for robot sharks from now on* #xplodingunicorn Hmm, czasy takie, że nie można być pewnym...
2019/09/24 08:30:08 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   Me: What kind of sandwich do you want? 9-year-old: Ice cream. Me: Try again. 9: I got it right the first time #xplodingunicorn
2019/09/19 08:13:38 przez www, 3
rmikke:
   Me: How was school? 9-year-old: I learned how to fly. Me: How? 9: Get in an airplane. #xplodingunicorn
2019/09/17 10:44:19 przez www, 0
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