rmikke:
   9-year-old: I'm wearing Mom's clothes. Me: When did you get so big? 9: When you were looking at your phone. You're all invited to my funeral. #xplodingunicorn #zrssów
2020/03/07 17:31:44 przez www, 3
rmikke:
   5-year-old: I'm going to be so good tomorrow. Me: What about today? 5: I have plans. #xplodingunicorn #zrssów
2020/03/07 17:30:12 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   7-year-old: You're so good at shoveling snow. Me: Do you want to get good at it? 7: No. I'm good at watching you. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/16 23:26:21 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   5-year-old: Want to see how many cookies I can eat? Me: No. 5: Then don't watch. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/14 18:57:39 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   A to może i mógłbym wykorzystać... 4-year-old: Shhhh. You have to be quiet. 5-year-old: Why? 4: I don't want to hear you. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/14 18:56:44 przez www, 2
rmikke:
   My 4-year-old had a big streak of red on her face. She screamed for a Band-Aid. I correctly diagnosed her with a severe case of Ketchup on Forehead. I'm basically a doctor. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/14 18:52:28 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   5-year-old: Look at me! Look at me! Me: What are you doing? 5: Making you look at me. Well played. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/14 18:50:44 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   7-year-old: What are we having for dinner? Me: I'll tell you if you promise not to whine about it. 7: I can't make that promise. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/14 18:48:41 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   7-year-old: I don't want mashed potatoes. Me: They're just like French fries. 7: Then give me French fries. There's a flaw in her logic, but I can't find it. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/14 18:46:29 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   4-year-old: Can I have a big wooden spoon? Me: Why? 4: To hit people. Me: No. 4: But I told the truth. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/14 18:40:46 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   7-year-old: Your hair looks different today. Me: Different good or different bad? 7: Let's talk about something else. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/14 18:37:59 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   7-year-old: How'd you learn to do that? Me: Do what? 7: Put hot dogs in the macaroni? Me: A wizard taught me. #xplodingunicorn
2020/02/14 18:35:59 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   [decorating the tree] 7-year-old: Which ornaments can I put up? Me: The ones that aren't breakable. 7: They're all breakable if you try hard enough. I'm both inspired and terrified. #xplodingunicorn
2019/12/02 11:18:57 przez www, 4
rmikke:
   4-year-old: I'm not hungry for dinner. Me: It's not time for dinner. 4: When it is time, I won't be hungry. Me: Fine. 4: Unless it's hot dogs #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/22 12:09:00 przez www, 2
rmikke:
   4-year-old: I can't find my shoes. Me: Where did you look? 4: Nowhere. We're off to a good start. #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/22 12:06:15 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   5-year-old: The house looks weird. Me: Do you mean clean? 5: Yeah. What happened? #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/22 12:04:56 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   4-year-old: Hairspray is for hair. Me: Yeah. 4: Not for eating. Me: ...have you been eating hairspray? 4: *changes the subject* #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/18 15:11:11 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   Me: Get up. 7-year-old: Why? Me: It's Monday. 7: Check again. #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/18 15:04:00 przez www, 1
rmikke:
   Me: I can't wait to go trick-or-treating. Wife: You can't eat all the kids' candy. Me: Why not? Wife: Half goes to me. #xplodingunicorn
2019/11/18 15:01:03 przez www, 0
rmikke:
   7-year-old: Can we go home yet? Me: I'm tired of listening to you whine. 7: I'm not tired of whining. #xplodingunicorn
2019/10/21 20:53:51 przez www, 0
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